STILLWATER, Okla. —
To the editor:
Hello. Who? Explain that. Why did you pick me out of millions? You do this full time?
So, you're a people person? You've heard of Barbra Streisand? She sang, “People who love people are the luckiest people in the world!”
You married? What's your wife do? You know about me, you must be interesting too.
What's the next step? When do I send money? Yes, And? That seems like a small amount to get such a large amount. That will cost a lot in taxes. Do I have an option for a smaller free gift? I've heard that if something sounds too good to be true, it's too good to be true. How about that? I read in the AARP news about a state's Adult Protective Services, should I call them?
Well, what's next? You're taking a lot of my time, could we just get on with it? Have you heard that song, “Ev'ry morning, ev'ry evening, ain't we got fun?
“Not much money, oh but honey, ain't we got fun? The rent's unpaid dear. We haven't a bus, But smiles were made for people like us.”
You have children? How old? Girls? This is a frightful time to raise girls, right. I think I'd not get much sleep if I had girls. You've surely seen the movie, Bucket List. What things do you want to do before you die?
And everybody's heard of P.T. Barnum's quote, “There's a sucker born every minute.” No? Well, I'm awfully sorry, you ain’t on my bucket list. Barnum died in 1891, but I bet there still million more.
You have my telephone, call me if you get in a tight money spot, I can send you $100 or so. No, you take care.