The Chicago Cubs have broken 138 years of mascot-free tradition by introducing Clark the Cub, who will entertain young fans at Wrigley Field beginning this season. Judging from reaction on the Internet, Clark instantly deserves a place on the list of pro sports' worst mascots. Here are our ideas for some other entries.
Clark the Cub (Chicago Cubs)
After 138 years of near-constant futility, the Cubs, in an apparent effort to divert fan attention from the inept product on the field, have unveiled their first mascot. Clark, named for one of the streets bordering Wrigley Field, will have his own clubhouse at the ballpark, and he won’t do typical mascot things like dance on the roof of the dugouts or throw T-shirts or hot dogs into the stands. That still doesn’t make the idea good.
Boltman (San Diego Chargers)
Perhaps this guy and Max Headroom were separated at birth. Sure, the idea of a muscular, ripped bolt of electricity might sound intimidating, but the effect of this costume is just bewildering from top to bottom.
Raymond (Tampa Bay Rays)
Supposedly discovered by Rays scouts on a fishing trip in the Gulf of Mexico (according to the team’s website), Raymond has been described as a “sea dog,” but with an inordinate amount of light blue fur covering his face, he looks more like a cross between a bloated walrus and a frozen manatee.
Finn the Whale (Vancouver Canucks)
Usually seen skating around the ice during intermissions at Canucks home games blowing smoke (literally) out of the blowhole in his back, Finn looks less like a whale than a deformed penguin. Oh, and he has a disturbing habit of chomping down on the heads of children.
Screech (Washington Nationals)
Screech is bald eagle in a similar way that Washington is a city full of politicians who all get along. “Hatched” to coincide with baseball’s return to the nation’s capital in 2005, Screech has undergone a makeover recently, but he still resembles some sort of elderly, oversized pigeon.
Pierre the Pelican (New Orleans Pelicans)
Once the NBA team in the Big Easy announced it would be surrendering its “Hornets” nickname in favor of the Pelicans, it was probably inevitable that a goofy mascot would appear at New Orleans Arena. But who could have foreseen a murderous-looking clown face perched atop a body with wings that look like they came out of an old mop closet?
Wild Wing (Anaheim Ducks)
If Daffy Duck and Jason from the Friday the 13th movies ever got together, their offspring might look like this attempt at a menacing mascot.
Spartacat (Ottawa Senators)
Supposedly this is a lion meant to strike fear in the hearts of Senators opponents, but with his spaghetti-like hair and hilariously gnarled teeth, this guy succeeds only in looking pitifully strange.
Dinger (Colorado Rockies)
Pretty much anything that looks like — or was supposedly inspired by — Barney, gains automatic entry onto this list. The brightly colored spots only make things worse.
Rumble the Bison (Oklahoma City Thunder)
According to the Thunder’s website, this long-haired beast joined the team after being struck by lightning and acquiring superior basketball abilities. But the stumpy horns and empty brown eyes kind of ruin what we assume should be a look of intimidation, leaving Oklahoma City hoops fans with an abject, bizarre-looking creature as their team’s mascot.
- Our World
Inmate gasps and snorts for more than 90 minutes in botched Arizona execution
Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne’s office said Joseph Rudolph Wood was pronounced dead at 3:49 p.m., one hour and 57 minutes after the execution started.
Gunshots narrowly miss TV reporter
A reporter for a West Virginia television station narrowly escaped injury or worse Monday while covering a fatal weekend shooting in Beckley.
Police: Man claims prostitute crashed his pickup truck
Police in Pennsylvania are investigating a story they were given by a man who they found intoxicated at the scene of a one-vehicle crash.
Enid sees retail sales go up for May/June
Enid received $2,696,701 this month, for sales occurring in late May and estimated sales for the first half of June.
Why it's basically impossible to delete those naked selfies you text
If you're selling an old Android smartphone on an online auction site, you could be giving away rather more than you intend to, according to a recent investigation by anti-malware company Avast.
NOC Enid breaks ground for dorms
The 84-bed dormitory is expected to be completed in time for the fall semester of the 2015-16 academic year.
25 hidden secrets in "Weird Al's" "Word Crimes" video
Yankovic's 14th album was released this week, and it warms my heart containers that he's kept up his geeky brand of humor for so long. While he has written so many incredible songs, none have spoken to my love of proper grammar.
Until "Word Crimes."
When your doctor commits suicide, things get complicated
When they call for appointments, patients are told they can't see their doctor. Ever. The standard line: "We are sorry, but your doctor died suddenly."
VIDEO: Comcast apologizes after customer service call goes viral
Comcast issued an apology after one of its representatives kept a customer captive on the phone for nearly 20 minutes, demanding to know why he was choosing another cable provider.
An alternative diagnosis to ADHD: Schoolchildren need more time to move
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention tells us that in recent years, there has been a jump in the percentage of young people diagnosed with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, commonly known as ADHD: 7.8 percent in 2003 to 9.5 percent in 2007 to 11 percent in 2011.
- More Our World Headlines
- Inmate gasps and snorts for more than 90 minutes in botched Arizona execution