TV commercials have been around forever.

“A Timex takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”

Remember that one.

“Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.”

However, pharmaceutical commercials have reached the outer limits of audacity recently, mainly because we as listeners really can’t do anything regarding their product.

In addition, when the side effects are listed, (I assume because of legalities) one gets the idea it would be better to suffer from the malady than to risk having the side effects.

I always think “Duh” when we’re admonished not to take product X if we’re allergic to it. If you’ve said “Duh” while watching one of these commercials, you may connect with these few lines.

Remember the guy in the white coat,

Holding the toilet roll,

Saying, “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin!”

Emphasizing his lack of control.

TV commercials over the years

Have been anything but meticulous.

But there are some being aired today

That to me are downright ridiculous.

I’m referring to pharmaceutical commercials,

Drugs with those crazy names,

Telling us just how wonderful they are,

And always outlining their claims.

They always end with the admonition,

“Ask your doctor about....” We must make the plea.

Let’s just consider that scenario,

And see what the answer might be.

“Thanks, Doc, for finding my problem,

Based on my cogent description.

I saw a commercial on TV,

And it offered the perfect prescription.”

I think you know what he would say,

Not, “Hey, I never thought of that.

Thanks so much for the suggestion.”

No, sorry, your suggestion falls flat.

Back to the commercials,

Here’s something I don’t get at all.

“Don’t take it if you’re allergic!”

Do they think we’re that stupid after all?

My last point is the side effects;

Most would give one pause,

And consider not taking the drug at all,

Because of the problems it might cause.

I’ve presented my case; I know it won’t do much good,

Because commercials are here to stay.

But let’s try not to be so gullible.

That’s all I’ve got to say.

John Pryor is a C.E. Donart High School graduate. He can be reached at p29jpryor@

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